...to figure out the mind.
Most of us insist on using logic to solve life’s problems. Logic naturally creates those would-have, should-have, could-have scenarios that drive us crazy and into depression.
The minute something happens that we don’t like, we turn to google to look for an answer, or we run to the bookstore and take the express path to the self-help section. Not everything can be explained.
Our logic is only a reflection of how we perceive the world. It has nothing to do with anyone else. Here are some examples that maybe you can understand. You had a date with someone and you thought it went great, but the person never called you again. Another example, let’s say you are in a long-term relationship and then one day things start to change and the relationship slowly comes to an end. Or maybe someone close to you suddenly passes away.
Some of us spend days and nights drawing up what-if scenarios and think over and over that we should have done something differently. Sure, if a relationship is ending, it is healthy to talk about it and to determine where it might have failed, but realize there are aspects of the relationship that can never be fully understood. There is no sense to continue to blame yourself years later.
The reality is that not everything has a reason for why it turned out one way or the other. Have faith that everything in your life is exactly as it needs to be. When I get tossed around in my thoughts that end up bringing me down, I repeat over and over, “You are where you need to be, just be.” You can make up your own mantra and turn to it whenever you start to obsess about something.
Acceptance and peace come when we learn to be OK with everything just as it is. Be realistic and don’t fantasize. This does not mean to sit on the couch and eat chocolate covered strawberries all day. It just means to know what you can control and know what you cannot control. Trust the process and know that everything in your life is just as it needs to be. Know that everything in someone else’s life is also just as it needs to be.