up and downMust come down. What comes around…goes around. You’ve heard these sayings before, but do you believe them to be true? Everything is moving, cyclical, and changing. We are naïve to think that anything stays the same. You are already a different person from when you first started to read this. You have new cells, you aged a few minutes, and you already created new thoughts. Once we understand that we are always changing and that everything around us changes, then we can better deal with life’s ups and downs.

When we accept that nothing is the same as it was two seconds ago, then it becomes easier to understand that people, places, and things change too. If we can understand that everything changes then we can better manage our expectations. Let’s look at this scenario. Our partner, spouse, loved one, or friend acted a certain way in the past, and we want this good feeling we had to repeat over and over. Our mind creates a perception and we store this in our subconscious where it creates what our reality should be. We hold on to the way this person acted in the past and expect more of the same.

The reality is that this person cannot recreate the same situation. It does not mean he or she is a bad person. It just means that this person has changed, but yet we get angry. Our expectations were not met. The anger makes us miserable as well as the other person. STOP. Let it go and do not expect any person, place, or thing to be exactly the same as it was in the past. If you do, then you will often be disappointed and unhappy. When you learn to accept and embrace change, you won’t be so easily let down when things are not the same.

Let’s look at another example – what goes up comes down. You may have experienced this recently with the stock market decline. Maybe your 401K balance is a lot less than it was a month ago. When the market was up, many of us were happy, since when we looked at the value of our accounts we liked the numbers. Then, when the s*** hit the fan, we were not happy. Some may have even become depressed. Nothing stays up forever. It must always come down.

The challenge with this scenario is that we attach ourselves, i.e., our happiness, our security, our worth, to the value of an account that only exists on paper. Maybe you watched your value decline by the thousands day after day. Did anything in your immediate life change? Did you lose your home? Could you not afford to buy food at the store? I bet the answers were NO. Then why did your mood move from happiness to despair? We attach ourselves too much to what is happening around us and we let it determine our mood and our mental wellbeing

Amidst all the changes that happen on a daily basis, there is one thing that remains the same – how we choose to react to any given situation. Remember, the only thing we can control is how we react. Learn to embrace changes. If we really understand that everything changes, then we will be better off to handle the highs and lows.

Trust me – what goes up comes down and what comes down will go up again. Are you ready for the ride? As we move into the Fall season, think about what new changes you want to welcome into your life.